Following the posting of this article on facebook, my friend - the samantha in this story was in a state of mental anguish. So with that, here's the article.
- My Rebuttal will follow.
One Man's Opinion of Women
Shane S. Webb
First of all, let me say that I have a great deal of respect for women. Although, they do sometimes cause me a great deal of frustration mainly because of my inability to understand them. This can most likely be attributed to the fact that I have a penis, rather than just one isolated situation where one guy lacks understanding of the female sex. I just wanted to throw that out there before I proceed.
I see women as being the most confusing creature in all of creation. I know this is mere common knowledge to most males reading this article but I feel that it bares repeating. If you are a guy and feel as if you truly understand women you are either most likely a homosexual or have never been in a serious relationship before. I mean know offense but if I'm wrong I will allow you to correct me. To the ladies reading this article, please know that men are at a total loss when it comes to communicating with you and at even more of a loss at understanding anything about you except that you have two breast, a nice butt(opinions may vary), and a vagina. Basically, us guys understand your physical make up but lack practically any knowledge of your emotional and spiritual thought processes, thus basically anything about your personalities.
This lack of understanding leads men to be intimidated by women because we fear both rejection and that because of our ignorance of women allows women to have all of the power in relationships. This is not just my opinion, many other guys feel the same way. Now whether or not they'll admit it is a different matter. This fear of women that men experience causes us to be unable to share our feelings with our female counterparts like we freely do with our friends. It doesn't help matters when ladies get upset when we can't talk to them at times and don't share our feelings with them. Ladies, please understand that most guys would like to share their feelings with you. Although it takes time for us to feel safe enough to trust you with our emotions. There is also a level of respect that must be earned for guys to share their hearts with you. It's not necessarily that we don't trust you but this level of respect reaches much farther than trust, it is sort of enigmatic in nature as we cannot always define what exactly that level of respect consist of.
When it come to dating women, men are at a total loss. Sure some guys have more confidence than others but more often than not that confidence is little more than a way to protect us from giving away more power to women than we already have. I was dating a girl names Samantha. Sure some of you know here, but I figure I'll be open about it. I just won't give you her last name in order to help protect her privacy. Anyway, she is an absolutely delightful young lady, a Proverbs 31 type if you will. Although she was sweet, I went into my relationship with her at a total loss of what I was getting myself into(a typical problem that men face).
Early into our relationship everything was fine but after a while the differences between men and women were becoming clear. I was not prepared for the emotional beating I was about to take. Please do not misunderstand me, this was not all her fault(Half of it was). It was mostly due to the fact that I was a rookie when it came to relationships and after time began to feel intimidated by her(my ignorance of women) and thus all of my power was taken away thus causing me to fall flat on my face. I did everything that I feltI was suppose to do. I was nice to her, bought her flowers, and treated her with more respect than most men would treat any woman. I am being honest, if for some reason you doubt me, those who know Samantha can just ask. Anyway, treating her so nicely seemed to be a mistake. I don't know that for sure but I do know that the results of my actions were not positive.
After consulting with many people concerning my negative experiences(yes, I even consulted with women) I have been able to put together a couple of theories explaining why men go through these unpleasant experiences. Here they are. Some men and women say that girls like to be treated with a certain level of disrespect. Thus, explaining why so many women can be found dating total jerks and why girls only want to be friends with "nice" guys. The problem for me lies in the understanding that I am one of those "nice" guys that most ladies just want to be friends with. No, I am not complaining, in fact I am proud of my personality. Those of you who know me will likely say that I am a very nice guy or even a gentleman. That's the first theory.
The second theory that I was able to put together is that some women have a hard time accepting that they are worthy of being treated like a queen. I guess you could say that this is a branch of the first theory. I tend to agree with this viewpoint. Some research suggests that if a women did not receive positive validation from men(her father, brothers, uncles, etc.) growing up they may lack the understanding that they are worthy of such treatment by males as they grow up and enter relationships. I feel that was Samantha's case. I'm not going to go into the details but the theory applies To further explain this theory, women may have a harder time trusting men when they have not seen the men in their lives as providers(either financially, emotionally, spiritually) growing up and thus causes a lack of trust towards men as adults. I'm not a psychologist but just a man with an opinion that many people tend to agree with.
So there it is. My personal opinion of women. You can take it or leave it. I appreciate the women who were willing to share their viewpoints for my analysis. Please know that I still have a great deal of respect for Samantha, I just pray that she realizes that.
That's all I have for right now. If you would like to share your thoughts with my analysis feel free to do so. Please do so with tact though.
- Shane S. Webb
Let it begin.
I'm going to state my credentials here.
Lets first get two things straight:
I am not a homosexual, and I have been in a few long term relationships.
I have been subject to just about every screw up a relationship can throw at you.
- I have been dumped
- I have dumped
- I have been cheated on
- I have been dropped for a previous boyfriend (On possibly more than one occaision)
- I have been simply deserted
- I have been verbally abused
- I have everienced the fallout from all of these events, which in some cases is worse than the actual events.
etc. etc. etc.
With that said, I still have great respect for women, and I do believe I understand them.
The number one thing you need to realize shane is that you cannot group all women in a category.
It doesn't work that way, much like snowflakes - no two women are alike.(Neither are guys - for the ladies out there.)
You speak of women who supposedly like a level of disrespect, I know individuals like that.
You also speak of sam as a "delightful young lady", I know individuals like that too.
You speak still more that women are not accepting of being treated like a queen, I know individuals like that too.
Shane, women are complicated as you surely know by now. I know women who crave those "jerk" figures, I also know ones who crave "prince charming." You need to understand that there is no point in speculating why women crave a certain type. You need to think about this: Who are you? the Jerk or Prince Charming? Certainly you know who you are, you need to write off the women who have no interest in your personality type.
Also, as I said, I know women who are the "deliteful young ladies" and I know some who are just selfish bitches. This is your turn as a guy to filter. You know which kind you want correct? Do not assume that there aren't guys out there who dont want a degree of disrespect just as some of the women you describe do.
Another point which you speak of is that women aren't okay with being treated like a queen. I expressed some of my thoughts earlier that some women do want prince charmings, but i'm going to throw in a twist here. - My mother and Father are not very affectionate people - I have rarely seen them kiss. To my recollection, the last time I saw it happen was about a half a year ago at the airport when my mom and sister came back from switzerland. Now, please be aware here that my parents love each other deeply. DEEPLY. It does not mean they show affection much. Niether of my parents are the "mushy" type - they do not hug alot or say "i love you" every waking moment of the day. People have different personality types in this aspect as well. Some people are very affectionate and open about it, others are closed and understanding. My parents are the closed kind and have been happily married for over 20 years. I, myself love to "dote" on women. I am an affectionate person. I too have given flowers. With that said, there are women I know who I get along great with but dating them could be difficult in that aspect. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. Learn and move on.
I do not know what happened between you and sam, but clearly it did not work.
I feel personally that it was a bad idea to mention her at all in this story because when she heard about it, she became very upset. I bet she is asking herself why would shane do this? I am sure it makes perfect sense to you why you are doing what you are doing, but to her it doesn't - and in fact, it hurt her.
You need to think these things through. Had you have done so properly and considered all possible outcomes of creating this group and posting this note, perhaps this wouldn't have happened. Who knows, maybe you did think of that, you weighed the possiblity of all outcomes, I can tell by your gentle wording of sam and the clarification that you think she is still a deliteful young lady, regardless, here's the outcome.
Now, hopefully what I've explained to you has brought new insight or something.
As I explained earlier, I don't know what happened between you and sam, my statements I have made here reflect the amount of knowledge I have with this specific event and my personal interpretation of events in my life.
Again, I restate myself - if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Learn and move on.
When you move on though, always search for reason, and always be concious of your own actions. We're all human and everyone does what they do for a reason.
All the things I listed as my relationship credentials, I have come to accept fully and understand them perfectly. If you wonder how I did that or anything else, feel free to message me on facebook. I am here to help.